‘It is clear that when people voted in the latest general election, they did not really understand what they were voting for’ said Polly Titian, an unsuccessful parliamentary candidate. ‘For example, they did not even know what the Chancellor would propose in his budgets in the following few years. So, obviously, the result does not count and we should ignore it.’
‘What we need is a People’s General Election; that is, one which produces the correct result – one which results in a substantial majority for my, er, I mean, the correct party; and for me, of course. Any other result would clearly be invalid so should be ignored, repeatedly if necessary. Anything else would be catastrophic for business / the workers / my political career.’
‘It’s the uncertainty which is so damaging’ she concluded. ‘And we will continue to have uncertainty so long as I keep stirring the shit, which I will, until I get my own way. Bollocks to what the voters say they want; what do they know? I am a politician so of course I am always right.’
