Change UK’s Mike Gapes heads for Downing Street
Bookies’ odds, along with the laws of time and space, look set to be overturned, as voters abandon the main parties in favour of a man who respects the purity of Bailey’s Irish Cream. Mike Gapes has...
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Packet of Hob Nobs elected as new police commissioner for Avon and Somerset
A packet of biscuits will now have the power to allocate funding and police resources to areas most affected by crime in the Avon and Somerset region after a resounding win in the Police and crime...
View ArticleAmerica’s population ‘too small’ to sustain high-quality Presidential candidates
It’s a problem familiar to sports fan across the globe. Surinam just doesn’t have enough professional baseball players to make the World Series; Cambodia’s footballers have never made the World Cup...
View ArticleTrump to star in Home Alone 5
The original franchise featured Macauley Culkin as a spoiled child who foils the efforts of burglars to break into his house by putting down ball bearings and similar childish traps. Culkin is now too...
View ArticleRioters storm US Capitol to find someone who can count
Frustrated voters suffering from dyscalculia attacked Congress, clamouring to know why Joe Biden’s 306 electoral votes were a larger number than 232. They demanded answers to complex questions of...
View Article‘I weep for democracy in America,’ says Kim Jong-un
The supreme leader of North Korea has announced he’s distraught at the scenes of chaos which spilled out on the streets of Washington last night. Kim Jong-un said he was fervently hoping that one day...
View ArticleStarmer blames Scooby Doo team
Following a night of election embarrassment for Labour, Sir Keir Starmer was quick to shift the blame to inclement weather, the fall of the Hapsburgs, Bach’s Piano Concerto in D-Minor and those pesky...
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Miliband asks for ten years to fix Manchester United
In a bold statement of intent, the Labour Leader Ed Miliband has set out a ten-year plan to reverse the damage done by successive managers at Old Trafford. Whilst many of his critics suggested that a...
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