Westminster has been shaken by news that Jeremy Corbyn was in the middle of a deep reverie for a large part of the 1980s. After failing to recognise the name of former Labour leader Michael Foot during a press conference, Corbyn admitted that he spent the first Thatcher government ‘curled up in a ball under a bush in my garden, like a little socialist bear hibernating for the winter’.
‘People keep going on about some former Labour leader, with an unkempt appearance,’ the Labour leader said. ‘Apparently his radical agenda caused Labour to split, leading to its worst election result since 1918, making the party unelectable for over a decade. He sounds like he was well-intentioned but disastrously naïve. Now has anybody got a needle and thread? Another button has fallen off my jacket, and the corduroy isn’t responding well to sellotape.’
Prawn